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SGA Fic: Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall - tranquility... best achieved in chaos
SGA Fic: Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
A full Atlantis fic! Finally! My gawd. 'Course those stupid drabble styles kept coming into play, but dammit, embrace. The beginning was written while "Holy Water" by Big & Rich played on loop in the background (forgot it was on, oops), so I suppose some of the mood/tone can be attributed to that.

Title: Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
Rating: PG-13
Category: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir. Angst/Drama/Skeery brain creation?
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Owned by others. Pay them.
Author's Note: After several attempts I found the story sounded better with a variety of timeline jumps, so jump confusingly it does. It was supposed to start out with sex in purple rain, but then I gave Liz a gun. Fluff and smut decided to wait for the next one.
Summary: "'Make a wish,' she says quietly when a shooting star jets overhead."


"But there is already too much war,
you said, while violet rain
started to fall, clinging
to the space behind your ear."
-- Dudley M. Marchi, 'Envoi'

"Into each life some rain must fall."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


It is at forty-seven minutes after midnight, when they are crouched behind a pitiable mound of rocks in the rainfall, that she tells him she is scared.

He's watching the world through the green glow of his P-90, worrying about her being too cold and wet, about them being tired and injured and hungry, and it's only when he's distracted for too long by fluttering leaves in the distance that his mind finally wraps around her words.

"I'm sorry," she says with unreadable eyes when he looks at her.


They move among the shadows of trees, the staccato of gunfire – and the peculiar crackle of those laser swords – continuing to ricochet up forcefully from the valley of cities far below them. He avoids following the mountain's edge, preferring the depth of the forest sprawled across it though it forces him to steadily lose his fighting advantage.

She occasionally clutches at the waistband of his pants – cold fingers touching the small of his back as she follows silently behind.

Of all the times to find her beautiful, he chooses this one. With curls pushed haphazardly back behind her ears, and a flush to her cheeks from the cold, she's actually luminous.

He wonders why he thinks these things now when danger and survival are vying to be at the top of his attention span, but he finds that between plan A and plan B he thinks an awful lot about her, Atlantis, and oddly, football stats from 1972.

Almost two hours on the run and she's holding it together better than some trained soldiers he could name. She has no questions, and very little argument anymore, but her resolve to escape the planet pushes her to continue up the mountainside.

"Make a wish," she says quietly when a shooting star jets overhead.

He takes her hand to lead her on, not wanting to turn around to see the recognition in her eyes as the echo of the bomb's detonation reaches them seconds later, but he feels the shock in the stiffening of her fingers.


They rest in a dark cave with a low ceiling, weapons at the ready though their hands are numb and their lungs hurt from their hours of breathing in the cold. A fire is the unspoken wish he's aware they can't have.

Elizabeth sits a pace away to his right, fierce determination written across her face and into the sidearm that rests steady in her hand.

She glances at him and he gives her a tired smile. "It's purple rain," he tells her unexpectedly.

He watches as she looks and sees the fat raindrops splatter upon the leaves outside, great violet puddles reflecting a moonlit forest.

Elizabeth says nothing.


By some stroke of good fortune, they're on the far side of the village when the fighting breaks out.

It had been a simple matter, a request made by a handful of village members to seek asylum on Atlantis from the extreme beliefs held by the rest of the world's population. Negotiations were swift and relatively painless; he gives all credit to Elizabeth on that account.

Now he watches as the Citizens come in their pristine white outfits over the hills to pour down upon the other side of the village – a sea of purity, they call it – and their laser swords begin to swing crackling through the air.


"I repeat, I've got Dr. Weir," he says again into the radio, unable to hear a response or even the tell-tale sputter of static over the explosions ringing in his ears. He waits a beat longer, and finally Ford's voice breaks through the noise around them.

"Roger that, sir." A muffled chatter of gunfire then, "Teyla and I are heading northwest to get around the backside of the gate."

There is no further message after he confirms.

Elizabeth has gone pale, but she continues to cover the doorway with his pistol as he gathers usable weapons from around the room. The options are limited, and at the swift rate the Citizens are approaching, he knows their best option is to make a run for it.

He crouches down beside her, feeling the adrenaline begin to build. "Ready?"

She nods, and he begins to lead the way.


Midnight arrives with no fanfare, no blaze of weaponry, and he thinks they can make it to Teyla and Ford in the next couple of hours.

"We're getting closer," he says when she sees him checking his watch.

She nods slowly, tiredly, and he pulls her down to sit on a fallen log. She doesn't so much as breathe a sigh of relief, and a flare of guilt burns in his gut. He's asked more of her than he expected he'd be able to; they give medals to soldiers for pulling through the way she has.

He crosses behind the log to sit next to her, facing in the opposite direction to keep all sides covered. They haven't heard the rattle of gunfire in a while, and the silence of the woods unnerves him.

"This is one for the books," she suddenly says, faint amusement coloring her words.

It's the last thing he expects her to say, and he laughs quietly in agreement.

She leans sideways into him, her shoulder pressing against his as she bows her head. It's an indication that she's exhausted, if nothing else.


He manages to sleep, waking only once when the few feet of space he put between them narrows as she turns towards him.

Her eyes are open when he looks down at her, his hand shying away from touching her face and finding solace by sliding gently across her waist. His fingers brush metal and he discovers his sidearm tucked in the band at the back of her pants.

She doesn't shift away, but her eyes close for a moment. "Our odds in this galaxy aren't looking very good," she states softly.


At first it is a flash of light, a radiant white that implodes on itself in exchange for an expanding flame of yellow. The furious voice of the explosion soon follows, and the ground beneath them shatters in response.

He's knocked off his feet immediately, sharp chunks of wood and rocks and trees flying at him with deadly swiftness. He averts his face, catching a glimpse of her red shirt at his back, and then she's pulling on the collar of his uniform, dragging him backward and away.

He is surprised to notice that there are no stars in the sky.


Her hands shake - her fingertips lightly caressing the bruised areas of his skin - as they assess the damage down his arm. It's not life-threatening, but what he wouldn't give for a bottle of tequila right about now.

"You're doing great," he tells her repeatedly, and sometimes he thinks he's almost convinced himself.

She kneels close to him, a leg nearly in his lap as she binds his arm tightly to his chest.

Dirt and blood run in watery violet streaks across her face, and impulsively, while she's still bent close to him, he rubs at her cheek with his thumb. She goes still, and green eyes flicker up to meet his.

He finds his breath, pulls his hand away. "... was a bit of a mess going on there."

The rain continues to fall, dripping from the curls in her hair to fall upon his legs. After all their time working together he thinks he should be able to read her expressions better, but he doesn't know how to explain the look in her eyes, and he isn't even sure if she'd want him to.

He can count the number of times he's seen her vulnerable – really vulnerable – on the fingers of his right hand, and his usual response is to apologize (it's likely his fault), to fight (white knight, bravado, protector and all that), or to kiss her. There has yet to be an opportunity to follow through on the third, and despite the danger they're trying to avoid at this moment, he's having a hard time thinking of how to respond with anything else.

It happens so fast he's still thinking of how he's going to explain himself if he kisses her, when her lips press softly to his.


It's Teyla who finds them first, appearing from behind a grove of trees a handful of yards ahead of them.

"We were unable to secure the stargate," she explains as she leads them to where Ford waits.

"How many are we looking at?"

He sees Teyla glance in Elizabeth's direction, and meets Elizabeth's eyes when she looks at him.

Teyla shakes her head. "It could be better."


They are on the heels of Ford and Teyla, feet from the gate, when she turns at the close crackling of a laser sword.

It's the look in her eyes as she focuses on a spot over his shoulder, and he already knows what's coming.

He shoves her – may she forgive him – through the gate, feeling the electric current of the sword cut through the vest on his back. His vision blurs into water swirls of blue as pain floods his system and he feels his knees begin to buckle.

But she grabs for him as she falls backward, her hand just catching on the front of his shirt, and she's pulling him through the wormhole after her.


He's in the infirmary two days when she returns his gun to him.

They're finally equal when it comes to who saved whom this time around, and he feels uncomfortable knowing they're likely going to be put in a similar situation one day in the future.

"It's not always like this," he finds himself saying.

She stands at his bedside, looking like the Dr. Weir he's come to rely on save for two healing cuts that run down the side of her forehead.

"No," she finally answers, "But that has never made it easier."

His agreement is in his silence, and he watches her hands clasp and unclasp in front of her before she turns to leave. She doesn't look back, but he's seen the images that play in her head, can see his own when he closes his eyes.

Sometimes surviving is only the beginning.


feeling: satisfied satisfied

34 whispers :: tell me a secret
mylittleredgirl From: mylittleredgirl Date: July 13th, 2005 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I adore you SO SO MUCH OMG. I am falling alseep and cannot comment further right now as am forgetting how to spell but !!!!! had to say IMMEIDIATLY (er, really can't spell) that you are AMAZING. This is genius and wonderful and SQUEEEEEE.


Damn. You write really, really, really well. *admires*
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:21 am (UTC) (Link)
*bes blushing*

Shall introduce you to some good books so you can stop saying that. ;)
mspooh From: mspooh Date: July 13th, 2005 06:23 am (UTC) (Link)
I don't even know where to begin. May have to save up a line by line squee fest in email form when I'm feeling more coherent. But DAMM, woman. :P

The timeline jumps work and aren't confusing at all. It's like a series of flashfic snippets, flowing with an indescribable degree of... urgency that leaves you angsting and worrying for them. I love how they support each other, and ultimately save each other, too. squee
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:24 am (UTC) (Link)
HEE! Your e-mail analysis (plural, analyses? *WOOKS* ) always make me giggle and get all ego-bloated. I need to dedicate a fic to you one of these days. :D

Ooh, and yay for urgency and angsting and worrying... I was fearing I might have put in a little too much poetry for that to stay a factor. But whee! *hearts you*
natushka From: natushka Date: July 13th, 2005 11:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow.. Loved it!

The jumpyness seems to serve you well! And god, have I told you have much I love you fic.. long of short? Really? Coz, I mean OMIGOD your brilliant!

Dude, and sex in da purple rain! We need to see this! *glee* Just brilliant!
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Eee, you're too kind! Really. :D

and *coughs* sex in rain/shower/water ('tis a lot of sex) is a project being worked on slowly... is gift for little red at christmas time. shh. ;)
From: tinseltowngirl Date: July 13th, 2005 12:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Jennnnn can I come live with you in LA!! I missssss it there:*(
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh Kay, my dearest, you're welcome at any time! 'Tis horridly hot at the moment, so bring a bathing suit as I'll drag you to a lot of pools and beaches. ;)
pellucid From: pellucid Date: July 13th, 2005 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

That's just gorgeous!!!! I can't even pick a favorite part--it's all so lovely! Squeeee!!!! I love sweet + angst!

And this is the last thing I'm reading before heading out of town for a few days, so yay!!!! I will take the Sheppard/Weir love-in-the-purple-rain away with me! ;)
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:30 am (UTC) (Link)
Hehehe, mini Shep/Weir travel packages... I can see them now. :D

Actually have random fic idea about it now. They get mini. They get a shoebox. They have lots of sex. Teh End.

Thank you and have fun on your trip!! :D
From: nyuszi Date: July 13th, 2005 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
wow! that's all i can say right now. i LOVED LOVED LOVED this. you write so well... damn... i totally dig your style.

my favorite part is this i think: Of all the times to find her beautiful, he chooses this one. it's just so telling... so human... so... beautiful. ;)

btw... got the clip (YAY). it looks like it was my computer messing with me, cuz i could download it from work. THANK YOU! am still downloading the whole thing tho. ;)
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! So sweet you are!

Of all the times to find her beautiful, he chooses this one. it's just so telling... so human... so... beautiful.

Oh man, that line probably went through the most changes... I kept trying to make it longer and more complex and finally I was just fed up and tried the simplicity angle, and *hugs you*

Ooh, yay for downloading! Shall let you know about episodes as they appear in bittorrents too if you'd like. :)
From: tangerrine Date: July 13th, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

Wow. This? Was so, so good. I really like fics that have Elizabeth in battle and fighting alongside John. Probably because we get very little of this in canon. (*crosses fingers for S2*)

He can count the number of times he's seen her vulnerable – really vulnerable – on the fingers of his right hand, and his usual response is to apologize (it's likely his fault), to fight (white knight, bravado, protector and all that), or to kiss her.

Loved this part.

Have friended you, by the way. :)
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:37 am (UTC) (Link)
*unflails you* ;)

Probably because we get very little of this in canon. (*crosses fingers for S2*)

Torri said at the convention that apparently Brad Wright is adamant that Weir will never pick up a gun. *shock* So I think I was a a bit huffy puffy over that and needed an outlet. ;) I'm also hoping if we all write enough of these that Mr. Wright over there will change his mind. *pokes him*

Thank you for the friending and am adding you back! :D
elvinborn From: elvinborn Date: July 13th, 2005 08:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

you have wowed me. I don't have the words.
love the format. love the story. oh, the angst.
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Am glad to have wowed you. :D Thank you and thank you though you give me much too much credit.
nhawk From: nhawk Date: July 13th, 2005 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes! Yes! It's an angsty and, of course, wonderful Shep/Weir fic from phrenitis and SGA is nearly here.. ah, life is good. :D
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 14th, 2005 03:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Bwah! *pinches your cheeks* You're adorable, thank you. :D
boutondor From: boutondor Date: July 14th, 2005 11:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Like I told you in the very loooong email I sent you, I really enjoyed Atlantis and of course ship Elizabeth and John. Who wouldn't? Anyway, saved the fic and will read tonight.
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 15th, 2005 02:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Will respond to your e-mail soon! Miss you terribly!
anr From: anr Date: July 14th, 2005 07:49 pm (UTC) (Link)


*loves this*

So many awesome lines and parts but, undoubtably, my favourite would be them sleeping and his hand stealing across her waist. Guh!

*goes to reread*
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 15th, 2005 02:51 am (UTC) (Link)
Whee! Am so excited you like! :D

I tried to add an element of physicality to parts... as though they needed the contact for reassurance, yet also as a relationship connection thing... and yeah. Hee!
icarus_abides From: icarus_abides Date: July 17th, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! *claps hands gleefully* That was oh-so-cute! Damn me for not reading it days ago when you initially posted it.

You need to write more often.

As in now.


*bounces in seat and grins happily*
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: July 18th, 2005 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee! *giddies about*

Am currently writing out-of-character fluff fic that will have me die of teh embarrassment because it's just so bad, but kissing! drinking! sparky!

*cuddles atlantis premier to chest*
starbuck92 From: starbuck92 Date: August 11th, 2005 01:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Hiyas! Was pointed in your direction by nhawk after I made a plea for Shweir fic on my LJ.

LOVED your story. It's all in how you described the interaction. And your words are like poetry in motion. Absolutely beautiful. Have you written anything else? Would love to read. :D
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: August 11th, 2005 01:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, am very glad you enjoyed. :D And heh, there just aren't enough Shweir fics out there, are there? I'm always in need of more. Heh.

Anyway, I have written others... you can check my lj memories or get them direct from my webpage. :) Hope you like!
34 whispers :: tell me a secret