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Fringe Fic: All Of This - tranquility... best achieved in chaos
Fringe Fic: All Of This
Title: All Of This
Rating: PG
Category: Peter/Olivia
Spoilers: Season Three, Entrada
Disclaimer: Owned by others.


“[This is] what happens when we’re incandescent but are not allowed to be, about what we look like when we adore, and, in the end, what it cost.”
-- Daphne Gottlieb


“This is yours.” she says, gives him the box – heavier than she’d imagined a few months could be. It feels wrong, going through their break up before the relationship has even started, but she reads the history they had in his stuff left behind.

He takes it quietly, hands far from hers – a box between, and she doesn’t meet his eyes.


It goes on for a week, the distance. They work the cases, side by side because she’s okay, she’s fine, but conversation is stilted and awkward moments triumph.

She knows Walter is uncomfortable, can read it in his fidgeting, the way he’ll stand like a bridge between them and pat their arms, talk about atoms and quarks and scientific errors. She brings a box of pastries to the lab, a mistaken gesture, confusion then realization dawning when she sees their horrified expressions. Walter eats them for her sake.

“It’s good. This is good,” he mumbles to no one in particular, over and over until she has to leave the room for him to stop.


Peter apologizes a few too many times, and even though she understands all too well (she still hasn’t told him about the other side, about Frank, not yet), she can’t bring herself to forgive him.

“You saved me,” she says when they’re in the car, alone and silent for miles. “Now I can’t leave.”

She wants to run, but a couple of steps away and she’s too far from the familiar to breathe.

He keeps his eyes on the road, but she feels his tension, the shame. “I could go,” he offers.

She has no answers. Her bed (even with new sheets that smell of nothing), her apartment, her car – his presence is there so solidly, like she’d been sleeping through it, like it was only yesterday that this entire life they’d been leading had been real.

He looks at her then, pained and sorry. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Give me time,” she says, and hopes it’s enough.


They study the machine, piecing it together over late nights and with the occasional sense of desperation.

Sometimes he’s too close – the heat of him, the subtle smells, the accidental touch - and everything will be right for a fleeting moment too quick to hold. It leaves her shaken, the what if of them that plays through her mind as she waits for sleep.

Even as she dreads these moments, hates how her mouth goes dry and her stomach drops, she waits for them too.


They’re on the roof at the end of the case, and she’s caught suddenly, hooked and flying forward over the ledge as she thinks, wait, stop.

He saves her before she plummets, fingers fisted in her shirt, her vest, so tight around her arm it makes her gasp. He hauls her to safety, and for a quiet moment she forgets to move away, and he doesn’t let go. Maybe she turns in to him, or he’s just there, but his hand is still wrapped around her arm, face close to hers as he checks that she’s all right.

“Yeah,” she reassures him. “I’m okay.”

He doesn’t look convinced, but he puts the space back between them, lets her go.

The bruises take weeks to fade.


Tags: ,

13 whispers :: tell me a secret
peanutbutterer From: peanutbutterer Date: December 8th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lovely, as always. Especially the second section.
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 10th, 2010 03:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! :)
(Deleted comment)
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 10th, 2010 03:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Heh, all my Fringe fic thus far has been angsty for some reason. I've got ideas for more happy Olivia/Peter ventures down the road, so we'll see how that goes. ;)

And thanks for the comments!
hollywoodgrrl From: hollywoodgrrl Date: December 9th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
So I've been secretly stalking your Fringe fics ever since I saw one of the Altlivia ones recced and I'm so incredibly addicted to your writing. These are all just FABULOUS. You not only get these characters PERFECTLY, your writing translates into the most dramatic scenes, the emotion is so pure. I'm really not kidding: ADDICTED!

(Sorry about coming off as some sort of stranger junkie, but srsly, there's only a handful of really GREAT Fringe fic and ALL of yours are in my memories for a reason. ;))
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 10th, 2010 03:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Hahaha, really appreciate you leaving the comments and very glad you've liked the fics! I can usually only write in one fandom at a time, but Fringe fic sort of came out of left field and won't leave me alone now.

Then again, this season has blown me away with its AWESOMENESS, so kind of hard not to write! ;)
lone_pyramid From: lone_pyramid Date: December 9th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
That first part is really striking, how she's "breaking up" with him without ever really being with him. She got most of the bad and very little of the good in their relationship, which sucks because the relationship looked like it was really, really good.

That last line is just painful.
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 10th, 2010 03:58 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks hon! And that last line is where the fic idea started actually - a physical manifestation of the emotional that she's going through. :)
musicalraingirl From: musicalraingirl Date: December 23rd, 2010 11:27 am (UTC) (Link)
This fic is just perfect. I really love the tone of it. :) Great job!
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 31st, 2010 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for the comments! :)
hjea From: hjea Date: December 23rd, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh I love how you've balanced this between the pain, and then the grim desire just to move on and give it the time it needs to heal. Totally believable for Olivia and Peter both as they stand right now. Thank you!
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 31st, 2010 03:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!! I'm glad you liked the fic. :)
teenwitch77 From: teenwitch77 Date: December 24th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh this makes me so sad. But a little bit hopeful too. Beautifully written.
phrenitis From: phrenitis Date: December 31st, 2010 03:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. :) Thought that there should be a wee bit of hope weaved in there amidst the angst. *pets them*
13 whispers :: tell me a secret